Sweet Revenge

I know I’m crazy, I’ve been called loco by guys, but Alyse Baddley

The Lovely Couple

triumphs us all. She brilliant, humorous and doesn’t put up with shit. I can understand I would be pulling out my hair if I was married at the age of 21, but that’s beside the point. Alyse, the mastermind decided enough was enough and used social media to her full advantage.

She drafted up a witty ad and for sale was her husband. The craigslist post read “I am selling my 22 year old husband.”He enjoys eating and playing video games all day. Easy to maintain, just feed and water every 3-5 hours. You must have Internet and space for gaming. Got tired of waiting so free to good home. If acceptable replacement is offered will trade.”

Now if that doesn’t make you laugh until you have to pee, than I don’t know what’s wrong with you, because that is hilarious!!! I’ve had boyfriends, yes its true, their annoying, gross and always play video games but I’ve never had the genius idea of selling them! Unfortunately buyers only offered a blue bag of skittles in exchange, but hey maybe that’s all he’s worth!

Alyse Baddley is obviously my new role-model.

Yours Truly,

Aundria

Sarcasm, What I live for!

What caused such a technological evolution of this this true lie language we hold so dear? Social media. When have we ever had to try to put a sarcastic thought into 140 characters like we do now? Making a witty, dramatic or moving point using only sarcasm and only a couple of sentences used to be a somewhat daunting task for most. What was even more difficult is trying to decipher through the sarcasm without hearing the tone of voice of the deliverer.

Compared to old Elizabethan speak, sure, we can’t even pretend to have any sort of mastery of vocabulary. But what is vocabulary when we express, market and advertise ourselves through a keyboard? What’s more important is your command and placement of the words you use, rather than how many syllables you can jam into one sentence.

The use of sarcasm through social media has really blossomed our ability to put our own personal stamp on the world. Sure, being able to make your mark in human form as well as on a screen makes you exponentially more influential and maybe even successful. However, our wealth of social media knowledge has bred a new era of online success stories that would otherwise be misunderstood. From twitter comedians to graphic illustrators to freelance journalists, people are finding away to utilize their most abundant skills and create a niche that can help them with self-expression and success.

So, as the saying goes, give our generation 140 characters and they’re going to want a paragraph? Yeah, right.

Yours Truly,

Aundria

Word-of-Mouth Marketing…Cirque de Soleil

So far in the 21st century, we’ve lived and died through social media outlets. We saw MySpace go six feet under, and we saw Facebook slip through the fingers of us college kids and end up in the tight grasp of our Aunt Judys and Grandpa Dons.  And who can honestly say they didn’t learn about Bin Laden’s death via Twitter? Or about Justin Bieber’s alleged baby’s mama?

Few companies are iconic enough to stay from TV and the internet. That being said, when is honestly the last time you can say you saw Cirque de Soleil advertise?

I can tell you I’ve never seen one of their ads, but I’m positive that just about everyone knows what they’re about. It’s because they are one of the most effective users of the oldest advertising techniques we know: word of mouth.

Word of mouth allows them to enter the vast social media world without putting out any effort themselves. They have created a product that they own but everyone else talks about. Without in-your-face marketing which has become the norm in our modern society, they give their shows a sense of mystery that is so effective its drawing in customers. It also makes us pay attention to blogs and reviews about the various shows to see if they are worth going to.

The social media epidemic has finally produced some advertising we can trust. Instead of celebs like Lady Gaga shoving useless links and advertisements down our throats through twitter, Cirque de Soleil lets US do the marketing for them. Cirque de Soleil has 23 unique shows globally (which I didn’t know and I bet you didn’t either) and you and I probably couldn’t distinguish between three of them. Their product is such a rare and unique resource, and their method of entry into the massive social media world is exactly the method that keeps their product so dominant.

Yours Truly,

Aundria

 

How Much Wódka Vodka Did They Drink?

I enjoy humor… especially when it’s crude.  But Wódka vodka took it a little too far. I’ve never even heard of this vodka… so obviously there’s something wrong with them.  Apparently Wódka vodka has a reputation of somewhat offensive ads, here’s a few they’ve cleverly come up with in the past: “Hamptons Quality. Newark Pricing” and “Escort Quality. Hooker Pricing.” I personally think these taglines are rather funny but this year’s slogan crossed the line, “Christmas Quality, Hanukkah Pricing.”

Now that’s just outright offensive and I solely enjoy Christmas for materialistic reasons.

Wódka did express regret, this time, but not in the most professional way. Rather than a public announcement or even a post of their website, Wódka tweeted, apologizing… a tweet… really? They only have 1,024 followers, how do they expect the masses to see their attempt of an apology?

This is a perfect example of how NOT to use social media. It’s like saying ‘sorry…but it’s really your fault.’ It’s not an actual apology. At least Wódka pulled the advertisements, but honestly is this company trying to bag on bad public relations? Wouldn’t be the first time in the history of public relations.

Hopefully Wódka gets its shit together and can come up with a better motto, in hopes that someone eventually notices this bottle on the shelf.

Yours Truly,

Aundria

Bang Bang Belvedere

As I soak my nails in 100 percent acetone all I can think about is the smell of Vodka. I’ve become familiar with this scent during my college career, similar to Chelsea Handler’s life. Yes, this mastermind loves to drink; I mean she gets down (why her and 50 cent didn’t work out, I mean she’s one tough cookie to keep up with). Chelsea dominates E! She has the highest rated show on the network; beating out the Kardashian clan. I understand why, she’s brilliant, bitchy and witty as shit, what more could you ask in a girl? She knows how to hustle and this New Jersey girl, where life consists of working on old beat up cars, knows how to work with what she’s got. Maybe her scandalous behavior at a young age got her drinking, but she’s put this bad habit to good use.

The ‘Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang’ tour, book launch and after parties we’re all paid for by her number one friend, Belvedere Vodka. I know, I was astonished when I first heard this too, but it’s a smart move on her part. Chelsea, like many other celebrities has a twitter account; however unlike most celebs Chelsea doesn’t have endorsed tweets. So what she tweets is actually real (and if you really thought Kim K personally wrote all of her tweets you need to step up your celeb game).

Anyways this crude woman knows how to use social media to her advantage, she tweets and updates her Facebook about tour dates, book signing, hangovers, break ups etc, all while being transparent.

Yours Truly,

Aundria

Self-Sabotage… What’s that?

Lindsey Lohan REALLY needs to read “Three Self-Sabotage Mantras That You Need To Quit. Now.” She’s going to have plenty of time on her hands, since she’s being thrown back in the slammer. I mean this article was basically an editorial to Lelo saying wake the f up. And to a million other people who don’t take responsibility for their actions. I’m not trying to say that I’ve never blamed people for my actions; isn’t that was being a teenager is all about?

But now that I’m getting older (seriously I’m not even celebrating my 23rd birthday because that’s OLD) I, and well you too, need to realize that we can’t control everything that happens in our life but we CAN control our reactions and the outcome of the situation. Now let’s be real, that means being really mature, so let’s at least try to do this 50 percent of the time.

One thing that I would say most women excel in is making life way too complicated, I definitely plead guilty. But as Amber Naslund points out, the ability to simplify is key and honestly the only way to keep sane (or appear to be).  And while we’re trying to take responsibility for our lives, be calm and collective we also need to make sure that we don’t overlook the obvious. Overlook the obvious you ask? Yes, instead of late night partying and shopping sprees we might, just might need to open our eyes and the answer will be right in front of us, not in the form of a pretty bottle or bag.

The three self-sabotage mantras seem pretty freaking easy, but then why is life always chaotic? I can at least speak for my current situation and all I have to say is BOYS. Now, that hasn’t always been the issue for Lindsey, but realizing that daddy can’t always be the one to blame might get her (us) on the right track.

So let’s cheers to something!

Yours Truly,

Aundria

Black Friday the New Bubonic Plague of Shopping?

I’ve always thought that Thanksgiving was all about the sales, I guess now everyone finally understands? Black Friday has now been referred to as the ‘Black Phenomenon’. Get ready for the crazy coupon moms; they’re going to dominate every department story. And luckily for the tech savvy ones they’re getting a head start on the game.

Retailers like Target and Wal-Mart are using social media to make this madness even more insane. Special deals will be tweeted on companies twitter pages, along with store maps of where the door buster items will be. Apps will soon be released that show the hot deals for Black Friday. Wal-Mart will offer exclusive coupons to customers who sign up on Walmart.com or Facebook.com/Walmart.

Along with this craziness Target and ToysRU’s are now implementing a Black Friday security plan; I mean we’re talking about toys and appliances, not the drug war. But holidays bring out the evil in everyone, or at least in my family.

It will be historically noted the day that I’m fighting over some robotic hamster for my kids. Shit, if it’s a Louis Vuitton count me in, but fighting over a toy? Oh hell no.

Kind of sounds like the bubonic plague to me, but you better believe that my mom and I will be cracked out on too much diet coke, phone in hand and pushing down anyone who gets in our way on Black Friday, isn’t that what partners in crime are for?

Yours Truly,

Aundria

Okay Let’s Talk About ME for Once

Well I’ve been freaking out, crying a little too much in the shower, worried about getting a job after I graduate. And after reading this article, all I could do is think about how I’m going to end up working at a truck stop (not really, but I tend to exaggerate). I mean putting down that I’m a ‘creative strategist’ on my resume, portfolio or whateves seemed perfectly fine to me, but no, I’m wrong. Glad I realized this now before I had my first big girl interview and made an ass out of myself. But seriously this is the type of thing that college graduates need to worry about.

So I guess my dreams of instantly becoming a successful business woman like Samantha Jones is thrown out the door (I mean she’s fictional but not in the minds of any Birkin, PR loving girl). But oh well, I like getting coffee anyways, why not make that my career for the next few years.

But when I think about it, doing the actual work of an entry-level job, learning the ropes and working your way up is how you actually gain the knowledge to become a ‘master strategist’.

This being said I need to stop stressing about all of my strategic planning assignments because well, what I really need is real world experience. I wish that was the case, but then again I would be a punk for thinking that way.

Yours Truly,

Aundria

The Breakup of the Decade… Kim K

Pre-Divorce.. they seem to appear happy

All she tweeted was a link, than two hours later she tweeted “To my fans.” How could she have been any more mysterious?

America, well more than just America is OBESSED, in love and OBESSED with Kim Kardashian. So obviously the media, and well of course I, made a huge deal when Kim K made her first public comment after announcing her divorce from Kris Humphries.

It was confirmed on October 31st that Kim had filed for divorce due to ‘irreconcilable differences’… like the rest of the celeb world. What caught my attention was the fact that Kim took the time out of this chaotic time to let her fans know what was going on. I mean her whole career is primarily dependent on her fans but still that took a lot of courage.

Before she tweeted her blog post fans and media sources were bashing on Kim, saying she married for more fame, money and she’s just an appalling person. However as PR goes it’s all about energy and feedback. Well shit changed after that blog post, I mean they’re still the meanies who keep tweeting her awful comments but for the most part people’s reactions changed. She became more transparent about her actions, allowing social media to broadcast her message. She made social media her publicist, sorry mama Kris… maybe we don’t need you anymore.

Yours Truly,

Aundria

Consumerism Just Got an Upgrade

Okay, times get tough. I mean real tough like when you have to put your fav chanel earrings on craigslist just to pay your Comcast bill, if that isn’t tough then I don’t know what is.

Craigslist is creepy, super freaky but when you need some desperate guy who’s trying to win back his girlfriend to buy your shit, craigslist is the shit.

Well things just got a little better for the broke college girl or more realistically the small business owner, hair stylist or nanny who’s had to take cash as their form of payment. ‘Square’ as they call it, is this new app for the iPhone and android that allows you to swipe a debit or credit card right on the spot. All you have to do is attach a small device, the reader, into the headphone spot and wahlah, the transactions was quick and easy! With this lovely app you no longer have to worry about being given counterfeit money by some super cute guy, who you wish was buying you the earrings.

Oh but don’t think this comes for free. App geniuses need to get their money too. It’s 2.75% per swipe for all major credit cards (they’re really racking in some major cash).  But you get next day pay out (automatically deposited into your account), a free reader, and the app for free; personally I think this one of the best inventions since tampons.

I have a feeling that pretty soon your retail therapist will be pulling out the ‘Square’ on you.

Yours Truly,

Aundria

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